She's sweet, but she's fucked up

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

They all get them out for the boys in the band

I wish I had money right now b/c I really want to go on a massive CD shopping spree. Just buy anything I come across that I might like. Right now, I really want: The Streets and the Garden State Soundtrack. I'm all over Iron & Wine's cover of "Such Great Heights." I'm playing it in my head right now. It's nice. I had a dream that I was hanging out with Ben Kweller, it was so realistic. I woke up actually thinking we were friends. For a second. You know whose face I'm sick of...Lindsay Lohan. As a friend said not so recently, "When did she become famous?" Well, now it seems obvious since she's all over the place- crappy movies, magazines, MTV movie awards, Wilmer Valderamma's c*ck, etc. But seriously, how did "Freaky Friday" and "Mean Girls" make her a superstar? I think she's taken a note from Britney Spears on how to skyrocket your popularity- take a slutty picture for Rolling Stone. Maybe the cover isn't that bad, but check out the inside pic. "Hi, I'm going to push my boobs together so that more people can talk about the fact that I may or may not have gotten breast implants. I'll still deny it and act clueless as to why people are obsessed with my boobs. I just want to be a pedophile's wet dream- is that so wrong?" I know what you're probably thinking- I'm jealous. Well, f*ck yeah I'm jealous, so there, I won't deny it. I just don't get her appeal- her movies suck and she's not that interesting. The whole Lolita thing has been done before. And "Mean Girls" wasn't funny. You heard me, I said it. This is pathetic. I need to move on. Here are the top 5 people I want to sleep with at the moment: 1) Jake G. (he's a permanent fixture on the list) 2) Zach Braff (shocker) 3) Adrian Grenier (as I've said, old obsession made new again) 4) Deigo Luna (I want to dirty dance in his havana nights...what?) 5) Johnny Depp (another permanent list-maker) If anyone knows any of these people and think they might want to do it with me, let me know. Tell them I'm really fun and I won't make them spoon me.
Reagan

3 Comments:

At 11:40 AM, Blogger Reagan said...

I've decided I'm not "mediocre at best" in the sack. I really shouldn't spread stuff like that. Tell them I'm really good, that I do tricks and stuff.

 
At 3:55 PM, Blogger Mathis said...

As a heterosexual man comfortable enough with my incredible and, at times, overwhelming virility and masculinity, I feel confident in saying that Johnny Depp is a beautiful man. A beautiful, beautiful man with beautiful, beautiful lips and beautiful, beautiful eyes. In addition, it would be difficult to decline any sort of invitation from Billy Crudup, were he to ask.

 
At 4:44 PM, Blogger Reagan said...

Billy Crudup. I can't deny his hotness. However, he left a preggers Mary Louise Parker for Claire Danes and I frown on that kind of behavior. This is what the receptionist at my office just accidently IM'ed me: "jesus saves and ryan kills" No idea what she could have been talking about. Scary.

 

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